Weight loss is a tough decision.

Trust me when I say that morbid obesity would not be a problem in the United States if weight loss was not a tough decision.

I qualify for a gastric bypass due to my level of morbid obesity and health issues. I made an appointment and will talk to a bariatric surgeon about this. Today. The appointment is this morning.

Yesterday, under a lot of anxiety and overall fear of making a big decision like this, I called the office. I was going to cancel but then, I didn’t. Instead, I asked about weight management programs that are non-surgical until I feel confident enough to make the decision to have bariatric surgery.

Anxious overweight people must be normal for them.

I talked to the receptionist about it and she did tell me that they have a weight management program that has monthly meetings. I could join that and work on weight loss while I revisit the surgical option after some time practicing management of my weight for a little bit.

This is the first time I did not just cancel an appointment.

I have tried to consider bariatric surgery more than once. I canceled every time. The panic was too much for me and I would give up before the first meeting. This time I will go. I will talk. Information cannot harm me. I will explain my wish to work on weight management and revisit bariatric surgery after a little bit of time going non-surgical first.

I am trying to assure myself these are steps in the right direction. Building that confidence in my ability to go this route and stick to my goals will take me a little time through weight management.

I have lost naturally before.

Some years back, I lost around 200lbs through weight management. I battled the ongoing battles and managed to lose a whole overweight individual. Life was hard and I regained it over 1-1.5 years.

The fact I did not manage to maintain actually terrifies me to go a surgical route with the potential of giving up on myself afterward.

In the end, I have decided it causes no harm to talk. I can just talk and ask questions.